The Farmer in the Well, by James Dorr

This story first appeared in CTHULHU HAIKU (Popcorn Press, 2012)

“Ding, dong, dell! Cthulhu’s in the well!”

“Who put him in?”

“Look, stupid. If Cthulhu’s in the well, it’s because Cthulhu wants to be in the well. Ain’t nobody puts Cthulhu someplace he don’t want to be.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t even ask who’ll pull him out.”

“Same difference. He got in the well less’n a month ago, far as we can tell. Been real quiet about it, like kind of a gentleman, you know, if a gentleman was to be in a well. Only way we’re sure it’s Cthulhu is ’cause sometimes a tentacle or two’ll stick up out over the top.”

“Anything else in the well with Cthulhu?”

“You remember how Farmer Brown’s wife disappeared?”

“Yeah, come to think of it — it was in the paper. Sheriff’s Department dragged the well, didn’t they?”

“Just two weeks ago, yeah. Didn’t find nothing. ‘Course what they said they was looking for was a body. Not Cthulhu.”

“He still would have had to scrunch himself down, don’t you think? Way down in the well’s bottom?”

“Guess so, sure. Lots of other stuff maybe’s down there with Cthulhu too. Like Farmer Brown’s whole family’s pretty much gone by now — including the livestock.”

“Pigs and chickens with ’em?”

Everything, yeah. Three days running the water’s tasted a little like chicken broth.”

“That must be kind of tough.”

“Kind of, I guess. It does take getting used to a little. On the other hand, though, the crops really grew the last time we watered ’em.”


James Dorr’s newest collection is THE TEARS OF ISIS, released by Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing in May 2013. This joins his two prose collections from Dark Regions Press, STRANGE MISTRESSES: TALES OF WONDER AND ROMANCE and DARKER LOVES: TALES OF MYSTERY AND REGRET, and the all-poetry VAMPS (A RETROSPECTIVE) from Sam’s Dot/White Cat. An active member of SFWA and HWA with nearly four hundred individual appearances from ALFRED HITCHCOCK’S MYSTERY MAGAZINE to XENOPHILIA, Dorr invites readers to visit his site at

Posted on January 20, 2014, in Issue 12: The Shadows Only Hide the Monsters: Poe & Lovecraft Tribute and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: